I've done it.. well sorta.
Sunday, November 11, 2007
The good news is, that after 8 years of altering my diet, learning to go to the gym for me and not the social interaction, even more drastically altering my diet, and generally doing my best to be healthful, I have reached my goal weight.
Here's the story. I graduated from high school as a tortured soul. Like so many people, I guess. It wasn't ok to be gay. It wasn't ok to be a nerd. Debate was not fashionable. And certainly, weighing more than 50lbs over your governmental body mass index score for obesity was not how you made friends. But I tried to be tough and not let it get to me. Then I saw a picture of myself. The picture was under the debate section of my high school yearbook. Maybe it was the way I was sitting, but I knew something had to change.
To start, I tried wearing bigger clothes to cover myself. If I couldn't see it, then nobody else could either. Inside, I felt like a circus tent. And I got bigger. I was not happy. I remember my dad setting down one morning to talk to me about it shortly after graduation. I'll eliminate the name in case I ever out this blog to my family, but basically his "you don't want to poke out from under your shirts like [name] do you" was enough for me. I don't know what my heaviest weight was, I am sure it was recorded somewhere in a doctor's office or something, but it doesn't matter. As a kid who has never had the muscular strength to do a pull-up, I weighed in excess 245 and it had to stop.
My saving grace? The wellness class I was required to take for college. There I learned about how the things I put into my body were crap. I learned that I was aerobically unable to run one lap around the track, let alone more than a mile. But more importantly, I learned how to change these things, and I learned how to get information about being healthful. The other great thing that happened here was my first scientific body mass indexing. The government and their "you are X foot tall therefore you should weigh x lbs" can go FUCK itself, that index will never be true for me, my build, and therefore my life. What I got out of MY indexing, was that I could lose down to 180 and be in peak physical condition. As a result, I set a goal for somewhere between 190 and 200.
At first it was easy. I can eliminate soda from my diet, result: lose 5 lbs. Next was the snack cakes that I was fond of purchasing from vending machines. There went another 5 lbs. With each change I not only learned that I could live without these things, but that it felt good to make these changes too. Don't get me wrong, I fought hard against it too. I didn't want to go to the gym by myself. I didn't want to push myself that hard. But I like having pancakes with a cup and a half of syrup every day for breakfast. Buying healthy things is more expensive. . . you name it, I made an excuse for it. And my weight plateaued around 230 after occasionally flirting with 225, but never dropping lower.
Then, a little over a year ago, I got serious. I was at a low point, afraid I didn't have the drive or the determination to make it. I started researching and learning about ways to live healthier, and making more drastic changes to my diet. Beware anything with sugar, carbs in moderation and never within 2 hrs of bedtime, eat more chicken and fish, beef is a luxury. Just by being conscious about my food, and when and how I ate it, I started to lose weight again. Somewhere in all this, my best friend challenged me to meet him every morning to run/walk a 1.2 mile course with him. Eventually we started going to the gym. And, now that he's moved away, I've learned to make the gym something I do for me.
Today, I like working out. I can run over 2 miles, as long as I have a music player. I like eating healthy and in moderation. I am, overall, happy with where I've come to. My weight is now somewhere just shy of 195 depending on which scale I get on. I've reached my goal.
Time for a new goal. I want to get more involved with activities that involve teams and friends. Ice skating, bowling, racquetball, boomerangs, basketball, volleyball... you name it. These are all things I've enjoyed doing with friends, and I don't do enough of them now. I'll continue to save the gym for me and anyone who wants to tag along. I want to get a trainer, preferably one who isn't pretentious and who won't drain my piggy bank. I want to get another real body mass indexing. I want to know where I can go from here, and I can't wait to see where this will take me.
posted by ZEUS @ 9:20 AM, No comment,
